I'm a Seven Year Old Girl

Can't sleep. 

Why? 

Well for one, I woke up from a bad dream.

All I wanted was a hug from my mama. 

I hope my future comps are prepared for middle of the night talks when this happens.

Secondly, I can't stop thinking about a boy. 

Why can't I just write that stinkin' letter?

It really shouldn't be that hard. And he'll be excited! Right?

Right. 

I can't wait for bachelorette tonight. My own personal 'cartoon' addiction.

I'm also just getting way too giddy for the Ohio trip.

Can't wait to see brother, sister-in-law and baby. 

Maybe I should make a fort to sleep in. 

That's what we did back then right?

I Am My Hair

***Warning. This post became extremely lengthy with all the pics. But I promise you if you make it to the end you'll have a good laugh.

I've been thinking recently about how my hair will be while I'm on the mission. I think I have a tentative idea after many hours of searching on pinterest.  But since I value all ya'll's opinions I'm going to let you help me decide. I've made quite a few changes to my hair in recent years. It seems like every time I saw someone for a while there the constant question was, "Did you dye your hair?"I thought it would be fun to see all my 'dos in chronological order. Then ya'll can decide what you like the best on me, or if you want me to try something new. Please post a link to a pic!!

Let's start off in about the 9th grade. I must say, this is one of my faves.

 {The Shaunzi original, A-line bob in natural color}


My hair stayed pretty much the same throughout high school, senior year it was SUPER LONG but still untouched by the hair color addiction.
{Long for me}

{Senior dinner dance}


As graduation approached my best friend and I decided to dye our hair for the first time. I love my hair this length and color. The problem I had was that it always faded to a bronzy red. No me gusta. Anyone have a fix for that?

{Black and white party}

My first semester of college I went a lil' cray cray and decided to try the "I'm a freshman girl so I think I need to have a bright colored streak in my hair to show my rebellion" fad. It's a little hard to spot in this picture but that bright pink line back there... yeah that's my real hair.

{Freshman year USU Howl}


Christmas break I decided I needed a change. I chopped it all off and put in a few different colors.

{Night out on the town with the roomies.}

Summer came and I got a change once again. Just a little shorter and more red. 

{Road trippin' it.}

Then Christmas came again. Notice a pattern? Semester ends... relax after finals... dye my hair. 

This is one of my favorites. My parentals had a hard time with it. I (and a particular boy) loved it. It was uber dark with PURPLE highlights. Rad. 

{Baby Addi's blessing}

This next one was drastic. I think it kinda speaks for itself. 

{Farmer's Market}

I decided to go a little more main-stream after that one but still have a little bit of funk. 

I'm in the middle.

{Junior year USU roommates}

And here we are today. 

{Mission pic}

Wow. That was long. If you're still with me, congratulations. You get to see what I want to do with it now!!

This cut. 

{Manageable for the mission and still adorbs}

With this color.

{Going back to my roots}

Well there you have it! What do ya'll think? Any one style you particularly love on me? Do you agree with my choices for the mission?

P.S. 

For your viewing entertainment. This is what happens when your hair is super short and you put curler in your hair against your roommate's better judgment. Also, when you have no time to make it look half decent in the morning after doing so. Pretty sure this is what my hair would look like if I was black. 

Sister Missionary - Fashionable Version.

Hello friends! It's been two weeks to the day since I "officially" decided to go on a mission. Or, in other words I told my bishop I really wanted to go. It's only been a week and a half since I started my papers. And tomorrow , ladies and gentlemen, I meet with the Stake President to submit my papers! It seems like every time I see anyone these days they want to here about when I decided, how long I've been thinking about it and what finally helped me decide. 

So, I'm going to tell a little bit of my story here. Of course it's not going to be the full story and if you want to know more details you'll have to ask in a more intimate setting but here's the basics. About three months ago I had recommitted to really STUDYING while reading the scriptures. As I began to read with a greater desire to learn what God wanted for me in my at this particular time, all the missionary stories seemed to stick out to me so much more than they usually did. I suddenly realized how much of God's power they carried with them and how truly remarkable these men were. I wanted to be more like them. Every time I read about a  man that had changed his life around, come to God, and then preached repentance and salvation I felt like I could connect to them. I felt I'd finally found what brought me real joy. I wanted to share that with everyone around me. When people were experiencing sorrow I wanted to teach them of the atonement. 

Anyway, every time I felt this I sort of pushed it away because I already had a plan for the next year and a half of my life. I had weaknesses I needed to overcome and I felt I wasn't ready to serve. I was scared to leave and not be here when my best friend got home. I was nervous about other people's reactions. So, after after talking to the bishop a few times I had made a tentative decision that I would stay in Provo while going to school. I was happy with that decision because it was easy. I didn't have to grow in any way and I could stay within my comfort zone. 

Then I went to the temple and had the incredibly overwhelming feeling of unease. I felt like I was lying to myself or exaggerating the level of comfort I felt about this decision. Have you ever felt just icky about yourself after you have kind of ignored personal inspiration that you've received? Well I've felt like this a lot because I tend to be extremely stubborn and The Lord has to tell me things multiple times before I finally listen. That was about three and a half weeks ago. I started praying earnestly for God to bless me with the courage to actually start the process of filling out my papers, telling my parents and beginning mission prep. I felt so incredibly inadequate.

 Thankfully God knows me SUPER well. I was called to be a relief society teacher around this same time. As I was preparing the lesson I kept complaining to my roommate that I didn't know how to do this. She doesn't know this yet, but in reality, I was putting off the lesson because every single time I started preparing I felt like the spirit was shouting in my ear "YOU CAN DO THIS!! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO TEACH THE GOSPEL! GOD WILL HELP YOU." As comforting as this was I didn't feel like I was ready to accept it. I felt like no one understood where I was coming from either. Then I read a scripture that changed my whole perspective. In John 15:14-15 Christ tells his disciples that they are his friends, and he tells his friends all things they need to know. This was exactly what I needed. I finally realized that I wasn't going to do this alone. I was going to become closer friends with Christ. God was going to be working through me the entire time. At that point I knew that I wasn't only supposed to go, but I WANTED to go more than anything. The next day I felt the spirit incredibly strong all day. 

Three days later I was sitting in the bishop's office. As I bore testimony of Christ, and his church I knew this is what I was supposed to doing. I've never felt so much peace in my entire life. As my bishop pushed the button to open the forms I felt the pure joy of the gospel. I was jumping for joy up to cloud nine. 

And I haven't come down since then. 

I submit my papers tomorrow.
& 
I'M SO EXCITED!!!

Pretty Prints.

Hello everyone. This week has been full of love. When's the last time you had a long talk in which you realized many things? We all need those talks. We may get them from different people. Some may talk to a best friend, some a therapist, and some to God. Whoever you talk to, I challenge you to do so soon. You'll find the love and inspiration you've been looking for. 

Here's a little of the inspiration I've found to be especially lovely this week: 

Love, 

Shaunzi

Guess Who's Back?

That's right... EMILY!! And I couldn't be more excited. 

Ready for some of the highlights of the episode via photo? 

Oh well hello there Emily. Just a head's up.
I'm about to combine every great
Disney movie with one of the trashiest shows on television.
Just thought you should know.

I sorta look like good ol' Benjamin Franklin.
This is definitely the way to this classy girl's heart.
 Definitely.  

Oh. Here. We're in Jurassic Park now.  

Oh hey hombre! You can say anything to me in that sexy voice.
I wouldn't stop you all night. 

Hi. I'm sexy. I'm from Provo. Why didn't I sweep Shaunzi off
 her feet on my skateboard on my way to  staring mysteriously into
the air while sitting on the side of Provo River?

I'm sure there will be sporadic, more detailed commentaries on the episodes to come. 

I have yet to find a group of hard core fans here in Provo. Do any of you watch? What are your thoughts on the first night?

American Honey

Today I've decided to have one of my old friends guest post. Bekah and I went to the same high school where we shared so many experiences while being in stu co and choir together. She's a genuinely kind, smart, and happy person. She has a relaxed style that I've never quite been able to pull off. Enjoy her tips on those summer essentials! 

******************

Hey ya'll my name is Beka and I blog over at American Honey!

I'm flattered that Shaunzi asked me to guest post on her blog. She is so stinkin' cute don't you think? If I had her style I would probably be able to die happy. Last summer, I was in Uganda (read about it here) and loved every second of it! I wore skirts and t shirts every day so my "summer style" was pretty cramped. 

So, although my style is much more casual and tom-boyish than Shaunzi's, here are a few items of clothing that make my Summer Essentials list.

Tops:

V necks - I just get the packs from Target or you can buy colored one for cheap from Target or old Navy.

Flannel/Plaid Shirts - These are perfect for those chilly nights or if you are headed to a rodeo.  I'm excited to wear mine when me and my friends do bonfires and go camping!

Cardigan - If you still wanna look cute for that date night/movie night/or just on a cloudy day a cardigan is the perfect way to keep your outfit classy, but also stay warm.

Bottoms: 

I think it's pretty simple. I hate shorts. The knee length thing makes me look like twice as short as I already am. So i usually steer clear.

Jeans - something comfortable- I love the Jeans from F21 and Cotton On

Skirts - If you are like me and have to wear something nice to work, skirts dress up an outfit while keeping it cool.

Shoes:

Chacos - This reveals that I am not the fashionista that Shaunzi is, but seriously these sandals are awesomespice! I wore them every single day in uganda and they have seen it all- from the insides of ugandan hospitals to hiking up and down muddy mountainsides. These sandals will last you forever and are great for any outdoor summer activity- camping, boating, hiking, etc.

Flats - A little more dressy than flip flops and perfect for a cooler day.

Boat Shoes - I'm obsessed but I love these. They aren't too hot and look cute on a casual outfit.

Sandals - These are a must. I'm cheap so i stick with old navy, f21, or payless.

Now go out and have some adventures!!!

I Was Just Thinking...

So remember when I posted this? Remember how I was excited about the person I had become? Well I don't know how but now when I look back on those days I can see how much more I've "become" since then. If you know me well you know I have a teensy weensy obsession with the idea of progress and becoming more than you currently are.
I feel like so many lives could be saved if people only knew the truth about their potential and the ability they posses to grow into so much more than they know. That's my favorite thing about my church. I know that through My Savior and Redeemer I can become the person I want to be, the person who will someday inspire my children, love my husband with all my heart, serve those around her and rely on Christ for everything!
Anyway, going back to my original point, last fall I took a serious look at myself and could see myself gradually starting to become the person I wanted to be. I had grown out of some horrible habits. So, I naturally wrote about it. And as usual I thanked those in my life that had helped me come to that point. If you haven't noticed by now, I tend to write about others way more than myself. Which is great at times, other times its my way of hiding. I'm just now realizing that I wrote all of that because I was sort of scared of the person I was becoming. At this time I wasn't sure if I wanted to let go of all those things that had held me back and stunted my growth. Sure, they hindered me but the pain of giving up those habits was almost just as hard if not more difficult than practicing them. I didn't know how I was finally going to gain the desire to let go of everything COMPLETELY. I knew I wanted to change when I moved to Provo but fear was still holding me back. I didn't want to lose myself.

Then I got a recording from a particular someone. The contents of this particular recording are extremely personal and close to my heart. Suffice it to say the missionary was definitely listening to the man upstairs, it was tough love that I really needed. He reminded me of good things about me, some not so good things. But he KNEW I could become GREAT. I didn't have to settle for average.
I felt like my prayers had finally been answered. I suddenly remembered how I was in high school. How I had these great dreams for my life. How I loved school and being extremely involved. How I lived the gospel. Then I saw how when I moved out I developed other parts of myself I loved. I was loud. I was social, I wasn't afraid of what people thought. I was mature. I wasn't a bipolar crazy to men anymore. I was also SO many things that I hated about myself. I didn't know which person to choose. It finally clicked. I didn't have to choose between the two! I COULD BE THE PERSON I AM!! I could embrace all the qualities I loved about myself from every different time in my life. Being social and "cool" didn't have to mean being angry toward the church and so many of it's Utah members. I could admit that I love studying families and marriages. I could openly talk about my beliefs without feelings embarrassed or ashamed. I finally realized that there was a woman I was supposed to become. There was a woman that had so many different talents and sides to her. There was the woman God had always wanted me to be. I was just hiding. But I'm no longer hiding. I still have so much to learn and repent of. But guess what? I know that's possible. I know I'll never have to stop growing as long as I have the desire and I put in the work. I don't know how my life will turn out in terms of who I"ll marry, when I'll marry, where I'll live, the exact job I'll have but I know the type of person I want to be when all those things happen. I don't need to wait for those things to become. I am that person. I am me. I'm not asking for anything more.
***Readers, if you're feeling down on yourselves today think about where you were 2 months ago, 6 months ago, a year. Think of how much accomplished. And don't compare it to me or anyone else. Only you know where you really are. You've grown. You're different than you were. You're better. You're growing. You're BECOMING. Don't forget it.