Signs of Spring

Hey yo my homies. Today was such a beautiful day. A few of the roomies and I went to Rumbi to act as if we were in some tropical resort. I also decided to spring it up today since it was

so nice. Since Sophie is working my butt off I can finally not only fit into so many of my old dresses that I've missed dearly but, also look pretty freaking good in them if I do say so myself! Here's the picture to prove it:

Dress: Old Navy//Shoes: Forever Young Shoes//Scarf: Forever21//Belt: Forever 21//Bracelets: Compliments of Sophie Royce

(Are we starting to see a pattern in where I buy my clothes?)

Curvy & Cute

Over the past few years I think I've become a lot more fashionable than I once was. I love mixing colors, patterns, textures, and styles. I think of my clothes as an expression of who I am or how I'm feeling that day. Picking my outfit every morning is my idea of fun... ok it might be a little more fun if I could take about an hour to do so. When

I get tired of doing homework I end up on one of these four sites: Anthropologie, J. Crew, Aldo, or Nordstrom. I know I don't currently have the cash flow for any of these stores but that's why I usually buy only one article of clothing at a time. (Unless of course the mamacita is being generous and paying.)

On an entirely different topic, I know I'm beautiful. However, I'm not what society would call the 'typical' pretty girl. I love changing my hair color/cut way too often, I love being classy and funky at the same time, I have a large chest and most of all I'm CURVY.

So I love fashion, being different, and being curvy. I don't think there are enough girls in the world that embrace all of those things. Girls, you aren't "bigger" or fat! You're curvy, you're sexy and most of all you're REAL! Also, I think there is a big difference with being "curvy" while not working out or caring and being physically active whil

e still loving the curves and yourself. You're always going to have because that's how you're built so you might as well learn to love them.

I love fashion blogs that incorporate all of these factors while choosing outfits. However, I think there is one big thing missing from a lot of these blogs. Many of you reading this are college students. I don't think any of us have 150 bucks to spend on a shirt that fits you just right from that onestore. Or 200 dollars for a swimsuit that works with your curves. That's why I've decided I'm going to start posting some of my outfits. They're inexpensive, fun, fashionable, and most of all, they show how curvy girls can rock it!

Here's the first one:

Top: Downeast Basics// Blazer: H&M//Jeans: American Eagle//Shoes: Forever Young Shoes//Scarf: Gift

This is my first attempt at anything like this. Let me know what you think!

Elation

Elation: A feeling or state of great joy or pride; exultant gladness; high spirits. The feelings that one, Shaunzi Byron, possesses at this moment in time.

30 Posts in 30 Days

I really love blogging. I don't do it nearly enough. So in a new effort to keep up on one of my New Years Resolutions in a little bit of an unconventional way, I'm going to follow this schedule stolen from a friend. You should follow it too so I can learn more about you!!

Day 01 – Introduce yourself with pictures and words

Day 02 – Your first love


Day 03 – Your parents


Day 04 – What you ate today 


Day 05 – Your definition of love


Day 06 – Your day

Day 07 – Your best friend


Day 08 – A moment


Day 09 – Your beliefs

Day 10 – What you wore today 


Day 11 – Your siblings


Day 12 – What’s in your bag


Day 13 – This week

Day 14 – What you wore today

Day 15 – Your dreams

Day 16 – Your first kiss

Day 17 – Your favorite memory


Day 18 – Your favorite birthday

Day 19 – Something you regret


Day 20 – This month


Day 21 – Another moment


Day 22 – Something that upsets you

Day 23 – Something that makes you feel better


Day 24 – Something that makes you cry

Day 25 – A first

Day 26 – Your fears

Day 27 – Your favorite place


Day 28 – Something that you miss


Day 29 – Your aspirations


Day 30 – One last moment

Two Years

***Disclaimer, this is a very revealing post about my life. If you don't want to know the details of your crazy friend don't read on. However, as most of you already know all this I encourage you to keep reading.
A few years ago my life got turned upside down and little did I know this was only the beginning. There were many tests to come, however, two years ago today I decided I wanted to change my life. I wanted to share my sorrows with Christ, I wanted to feel the strength and power of the atonement. I decided I NEEDED to change my life in order to have the desire to keep living it. Along the way there have been many bumps and unexpected turns. For so long I've wondered when I was going to understand the trials I was going through. I've worked so hard to put my life in His hands to let him lead me where I need to be. I didn't understand how I was ever going to look back on my experiences and see the bigger plan. I think that day has finally come. I can look at the past five years of my life and see how much I've learned. That doesn't mean I don't feel pain when I think back on some of those times, it just means I can see who I've become through them. As I look back I'm in awe of the person I am today. Two years ago I never would've believed someone if they told me I was going to transfer to UVU to study Social Work and Family Life and be at peace with that decision.
So many people have helped me along the way and I'd just like to mention a few of them.
I don't think I ever truly realized why I was born into the family I was until I came to school.
My brother, Chad, is always here for me even though he lives half-way across the country. He has listen to me moan and groan about so many things. He's been my voice when I needed help but I couldn't cry out. He strengthened my testimony of the priesthood by his daily acts. He's shown me the man I need to wait for, the kind of man I deserve and I know I will marry someday.
My mother is my rock and I really don't know how anyone that doesn't talk to their mom DAILY gets through any challenge. I hope to be half the woman she is. I hope to understand the atonement as well as she does and have the confidence she possesses. I hope to love my children as deeply and sincerely as she does.
My sister is someone who has completely changed my outlook on life. I used to be the girl that wanted a career so badly after she got married and had kids. Don't get me wrong, I still want a career prior to starting my family, but seeing that woman with her children has shown me how sacred motherhood is. Her example of faith through her infertility has shaped the career path I've chosen, and the path I think I was always meant to take in this life.
My therapist, who I've chosen not to name is the kindest man I've ever known. He has been patient, loving, encouraging, and direct when I needed it. He helped me see the future I wanted. He helped me see that I could love life again- that I could be excited and joyful for every single day. He helped me see the talents I possess and showed me how to use them. I know when I get to the other side Christ will be a lot like him.
Which leads me to the last person that has CARRIED me through the last few years. My Savior and Redeemer, Jesus Christ. I never knew I could be loved so deeply until I turned my life over to him. He healed me, he healed my stony heart and my cold, lonely self. I am in awe the more I get to know him and develop a personal relationship with him. He has led me through these hard times in order for me to become the disciple he needed. I can only imagine what it will be like to kneel at his feet as I weep only and thank him for all he has done for me.
I know I have much to learn. I will face other challenges in this life that will try my faith but right now I'm proud of my accomplishments. I will shout to the world that my Savior was the one and only who put the people in my life that I needed. I love his gospel and the opportunities he gives unto me to learn and grow.
Two years ago today was the start of a great journey. The journey continues and I press on with faith, patience and hope in my future.

I Love It When...

Tonight has been... HARD. I finally thought I had my life figured out. But, I'm learning of patience, faith, and hope. I have so many negative things I could say but I thought I would echo my dear friend Audriana in expressing the things that make me blissfully happy. I'm going to list 50- sorry I know that's excessive I just need to count the blessings. I encourage each of you to either list a few of your happy items in the comments or on your own blog and leave the link for me in my comments. I'd love to read them.

Here we go...

1. Coming home to hot chocolate after a long day in the cold.
2. Long drives in which you figure out what's been troubling you lately
3. Hearing a voice of a loved one you haven't heard in ages
4. Letters from said loved one
5. Hugs from your mommy and daddy (Yes I'm 20 years old and I still love this)
6. Kisses, loves, waves, smiles, and giggles from the twins and Addi
7. Seeing how much my sister loves her children. Sometimes even thinking about it makes me tear up a little.
8. The autumn air of Logan
9. Seeing a close friend overcome an obstacle
10. Dance, of the contemporary style
11. Long telephone talks with Chadley when I laugh so much I cry
12. The sense of adventure when an airplane takes off
13. The peace that comes with a fresh (un-stepped in) blanket of snow that covers my parents backyard.
14. My grandma's cabin. Everything about it just screams home. Here you're welcome, safe, protected and loved.
15. Books.
16. The temple
17. The thought of having little ones running around calling me mama someday. Heaven.
18. Recognizing God's hand in my life.
19. Finding a song that explains my emotions perfectly
20. Completing an artsy project
21. Antique tea cups
22. Twinkle lights
23. Spontaneous rainstorms
24. Grandpa, me and the wishing star
25. Falling asleep outside in the middle of a summers day
26. Expressing my emotions through art
27. Adoption stories
28. Being a should to cry on
29. New hair colors and cuts
30. Seeing a loved ones face after I give them the perfect gift
31. The stars on a clear night
32. Walking barefoot in the spring
33. Plays with the madre
34. A compliment from a stranger
35. The sound of rain on a tin roof
36. Developing new talents
37. Witnessing joyous reunions
38. Reading old journal entries and seeing how much I've grown
39. Him holding my hand while driving
40. Leaps for no reason at all
41. Listening to roommates boy stories while being completely, ridiculously girly and giddy.
42. Being reminded of my divine role as a woman
43. A brand new pair of cute long, warm socks.
44. Laughing about everything when you're so tired that it all seems to be funny
45. Dainty diamond wedding rings
46. Justin Giles' choreography
47. Wool tights
48. Fog around old main and on the quad
49. Baths with a good book that last for hours
50. Ruffles, lace, sparkles, bows and anything else completely girly

Driving Around in Circles

I just found out that my life is taking a turn I didn't expect. These lyrics explain my thoughts on this little wind in the road...

They say that home is where the heart is
I guess I haven't found my home
And we keep driving round in circles
Afraid to call this place our own

And are we there yet?

They say there's linings made of silver
Folded inside each raining cloud
Well, we need someone to deliver
Our silver lining now

And are we there yet?
And are we there yet?
And are we there yet?
Home, home, home
Home, home, home

They say you're really not somebody
Until somebody else loves you
Well, I am waiting to make somebody
Somebody soon

And are we there yet?
And are we there yet?
And are we there yet?
Home, home, home
Home, home, home

Where you will lie on the rug
While I play with the dog
And it won't be too much
'Cause this is too much
'Cause this is too much for me to hold
This is too much for me to hold

Home, home, home
And are we there yet?
And are we there yet?
And are we there yet?

Home, home, home
Home, home, home, home

And are we there yet?
And are we there yet?
And are we there yet?
And are we there?

Enough

To all my girl friends out there that follow my blog, I have a question for you. I guess I just need to know how you deal with this little problem I'm experiencing or if you have it at all. So, I blogstalk. A lot. I really love reading other's work. I sincerely believe that writing is an art form even when we aren't the most talented writers on the planet. Usually I love reading the inspiring lives of others. Yet, sometimes, I find myself reading about my friends and even some strangers and comparing myself to them.

Tonight I was reading this blog (http://stephanieromney.blogspot.com/) and started wondering how people are doing so much with their life. She has done so much for this world and she is literally MY age, a few months younger even. As mentioned in my earlier post most of the time I feel great when I just get everything done that I need to while staying above water.

Is this a problem for anyone else? Tell me what you do to avoid it?

P.S. I am not fishing for compliments or "You're wonderfuls". I genuinely desire to know how you handle this problem.

Cry

Sometimes I feel that we see tears as a sign of weakness. Let me just say I couldn't live without tears. They are words from the soul that can't be spoken. I've been a lot more private with my emotional break downs this year. However, that isn't to say I don't have them anymore, I just wait. I wait until I'm left alone to listen to music and truly feel the emotions I'm having. As I sit here I feel a lot of things. Here are the only lyrics I could find to explain how I feel.

The storm is coming but I don't mind.

People are dying, I close my blinds.

All that i know is I'm breathing now.

I want to change the world, instead I sleep.

I want to believe in more than you and me.

But all that I know is I'm breathing.

All I can do is keep breathing.

All we can do is keep breathing

Now, Now

Now, Now..., Now...

All that I know is I'm breathing.

All I can do is keep breathing.

All we can do is keep breathing.

The Homies

Hello long lost blogging world. I know I tend to fall off the universe from time to time but it's only because I'm living so much wonderful life. The next few posts will be an update on my life currently.About a month ago I moved back to Logan and back into the greatest apartment complex ever, Continental! (I mean who wouldn't want to live in an apartment straight out

of the seventies that has the worst parking lot ever known to mankind, bathrooms small enough to use for solitary confinement, and the ugliest color of bricks ever made.) No, in all honesty I really do love this complex. The ward is amazing and the people are so genuinely kind.

My roommates are some of the coolest girls I've ever met so go ahead and be jealous. I really wanted to do roommate pictures last year but we never got around to it so this year I was a stickler and got them done within the first few weeks.

Emily

I met Miss Emily Landeen (left) a little over a year ago and we just loved each other so much we decided to kick it again this year. Emily has a place in my heart that none of my other roommates have ever been able to fill. My freshman year I loved all my roommates but I always felt like they didn't know all of me because we enjoyed very different things. Enter Emily Landeen. This girl loves Harry Potter, Musicals, Art, Sociology, History, and Music almost as much as I do. We can have endless talks about all sorts of topics and even when we don't agree we both leave feeling fulfilled and open-minded. Throughout our

relationship she has always been giving and selfless. I can truly say that she is always looking out for other people. She's taught me the importance of simple kindness.

At the beginning of this year I know we were both a little anxious to see what this year had to offer our friendship due to personal situations in both of our lives. However, she has continued to amaze me with her strength, courage, and love.

Beca

Now Becs (right). Ah Beca. If I had to explain Beca in one word it would probably be spontaneity. Beca knows how to handle her life in a way that no matter what's going on around her, she's happy. This girl always keeps me smiling with her funny little habits. She's extremely friendly to everyone we meet and I have yet to hear her say she doesn't like someone. Beca loves the joy life has to offer. As she was saying the other day, "If you live life fearing everything because it might be a little weird, you aren't really living life." She knows how to relate to so many people and I respect her love and kindness to all those around her, even those that are different. I've learned so much from her about acceptance and I can't wait to learn more!

Tina

When I first met Tina (right) my roommate and I were busy moving in. My mom kept saying, "You should probably go talk to her more, she probably feels left out." Looking back on this I tend to laugh a little bit because I feel as thought Tina and I clicked almost instantly. I don't know how it was for Tina but you know when you meet someone and you just feel like you've known them forever?Like if you were to have an emotional break-down only three days after meeting each other they would just hold you and tell you exactly what you needed to hear? That's how I felt with Tina. It's a good thing too since I have had numerous said breakdowns since we met.

Tina is the type of girl I aspire to be. She has gone through so many trials in her life but you would never know it. She never complains and uses all her hardships for her good and improvement. Tina is the kind of woman that would drop everything to go visit someone that needed it, even if she didn't know them. She has the sweetest personality that makes you smile from ear to ear. She genuinely loves people because she knows they are true sons and daughters of our heavenly father. My testimony has been strengthened so much by just witnessing the way she leads her life. She is going to one heck of a wife to some lucky man someday!

Jordan

I don't think I've ever laughed at more of the seemingly most stupid things in world with anyone else. Jordan has the ability to make me laugh when I just want to be mopey or mad. I love that Jordan and I have the same sense of just telling it as it is sometimes. Jordan works her butt off and still makes time to have fun with me which I love! I would seriously challenge anyone that's having a bad day to hang out with Jordan for an hour and see how you're feeling afterward. Jordan invited me to a concert on a whim and probably thought nothing of it. If she knows it or not she was listening to the spirit and obeying his command when she did so. She's introduced me to a new artist and a song that has seriously saved my life. I'll be forever grateful for the example she is! I just love her so BAD!! :)

Samantha Florence

Oh Sam. I've known this girl for as long as I can remember. You all think I just exaggerated. I didn't. We've been besties since we were 2. We both prayed continuously to know if we should live together, and got the same answer, YES! Although many people have been apprehensive of this arrangement, ourselves included, this is exactly what we both needed this year. She is continuously helping me progress and grow into the woman I want to be. She knows me more than I know myself at times. She keeps me in line when she can see I'm fading and takes on burdens that aren't her own for my benefit. She's shared her family with me this semester as I ease my way back into college life. Samantha understands my fears and my hopes and goals. She doesn't see me as weak but as a person that has come so far and I'm so grateful for that. She encourages me to go out of my comfort zone, to try new things that will fill my life with happiness.

Although she doesn't see herself in this light at all, I admire the way Samantha takes on new responsibilities and tries new things without one ounce of fear. She listens to the Lord and then does exactly what he says without fear or doubt. I have so much to learn from her in that area. I'm so proud of the woman she is becoming and how we've progressed together over the years.

Overall, I scored the jackpot this year. It has been one of those experiences that has strengthened my testimony of the ability the Lord has to lead us to the people and the places we need in our lives. All my roommates know I struggled last year but I don't think they knew how scared I was to come back and face it all again. They've helped me have confidence in myself and my ability to overcome my weaknesses. Without knowing it they have all been my angels. I love you girls!

A Way Back To Then

One of my favorite musical theater songs has this lyric...
I aimed for the sky
A nine-year-old can see so far
I'll conquer the world and be a star
I'll do it all by the time I'm ten
I would know that confidence
If I knew a way back to then

Lately I've been missing my younger years, I know that's ridiculous to say since I'm barely twenty, but somehow this age is just completely different than the 'simple' years.

I was recently going through all the little notes/cards I've received over the years and I came across a little note of encouragement after what seemed like at the time, the biggest failure yet. It was from Haley Johnson. She wrote about how when she was young she was going to find out what happened to Amelia Earheart and the only reason we didn't know yet was because she hadn't tried to figure it out. She said that a little boy can be told he's not superman over and over but he still believes he can fly. It reminded me of how I used to be, I was fearless. I knew nothing of doubt but only of hope and possibilities. So I chose the 2 things I miss the most that I've allowed the world to change and decided what I'm going to do to incorporate them back into my life. I think when I do this I'll feel more like the me I miss and wish I still was, the me who believed I could do anything because I didn't listen to the world's perceptions of myself.

So here we go...


1. I miss dance. I've tried deny this for SO long because lets face it, I don't have the "right" physique. I quit for a lot of reasons but one of them was I couldn't ever have the body the other girls did. Still, every time I watch a contemporary dance I can't help but long to just get up and start dancing. I don't remember a lot of technique but I remember how I felt when I was floating on stage. It's one of the best ways I've found to express all those things that are too personal- too painful, too deep, or just too sacred to say out loud. That's why I've decided to take an intro to modern dance class this fall. I'll have to work hard to keep up but I'm so excited to feel the rush of emotions that come in the middle of routine again.




2. I miss loving what I'm learning. I used to have such enthusiasm for my favorite topics in school. I haven't been able to figure out why I detest most of my classes for my major when the same subject was one of my favorite in high school. I've decided I love certain time periods in history but others I just find flat out boring. I want to have a passion for something like I used to. But I haven't dared to change my major because of what people would think- she's just giving up, what would she do with that major. But I'm rejecting those ideas, I'm changing my major. This is one of those big changes I was referring to. I'm going to get my degree in Family Life and work with troubled families, youth, abused women and hopefully much more. I want to bring joy back into people's lives and this is how I plan on doing it.

Until Next Time Dear Reader.

Faith

"Feed your faith and your doubts will starve to death."

You might say I'm a little stubborn, alright I'm extremely stubborn. I like things done my way and in my time. I've had to work hard on giving my life over to the Lord so that he can show me what to do and when to do it. I tend to run away from any promptings I get that would bring any major changes into my life. But guess what I've realized? All those promptings that usually bring doubt and fear are the exact changes I need for me to be as happy as the Lord intends. So, after learning all of this I've finally decided to take a leap of faith. I'm going to take a risk. I can't wait for the blessings that await. There are some major changes about to happen in my life. This is vague enough right? I'll just end with a few great quotes.

"To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing." - Unknown

"And I said to the man who stood at the gate of the year: 'Give me a light, that I may tread safely into the unknown!' And he replied: 'Go out into the darkness and put your hand into the Hand of God. That shall be to you better than light and safer than a known way."
- Minnie Louise Haskins Oct. Conference 2005

But There Were Lessons Learned

It's funny how things change for the better. A year ago I never would've seen myself in the place I am now. I didn't want to admit that I needed to fix a lot of things in my life. I didn't want to admit to myself that I wasn't truly happy. I was stubborn and didn't want to listen to so many of the people that were really looking out for me. I thought I understood in high school what it meant to have people that define your lives. Boy was I wrong. I have had so many experiences, people, failures and successes that have truly shaped my life. I'm not saying I'm not grateful for the place I was in all those months ago. I very much am. It helped me see who I wanted to be. As I look at myself today I see little pieces of so many individuals. I think the main thing I've learned and continue to learn daily is that every person in my life can teach me something. A classmate can teach me the value of learning. She can make me realize how little I really know and help me treasure every single lecture or assignment. A roommate can teach me the importance of positivity. She can teach me how to look at life with joy. An old friend that comes back can remind me of the simplicity of love. Love doesn't need to be as complex and romanticized as so many people make it out to be. You love someone irregardless of what everyone else thinks. You love someone because they bring out the best in you. You love who and what you are when you're around them. You love them because they allow you to see life in a different light. My mother has taught me how to love with the deepest part of her heart. She loves people even when they don't show her that they love her back. I believe she should be translated because of people and experiences she has been through that she has handled with such grace. I've learned about love from my sister. She's such a wonderful mother, she puts everything she has in to her two little girls. My excitement concerning motherhood has grown immensely since Abi and Bella were born. This all leads me to a side note. I found out a few days ago that I'm going to Ohio over Christmas break to see my Brother, Sister in law and precious little Addison. I'm ecstatic about this. First of all, I get to go with my magnificent mother who I miss deeply. Second, I get to spend time with my legitly awesome brother whom I haven't seen since May. This man is one of the people that has shaped so many things about myself. I forget how much I miss him until I talk to him on the phone and realize how truly amazing he is. Third, I get to help Beka out with her new baby. Fourth, I get to see Addison be blessed. I know I'm going to cry a lot. I love tears sometimes. Fifth, I'm going to a new city. We all know I love travel. Sixth, and the greatest reason, I get to spend a whole ten days with one of God's greatest creations. A little baby girl. This alone will teach me so many lessons God is just waiting to teach me. Don't worry I'll take a plethora of pictures. I know this post is extremely sporadic. I'm deeply sorry for that. My mind is just full of so many thoughts. None of which consist of finals, papers, and assignments. Better get on that. Thank you for reading. May we all learn to recognize the lessons those around us have to offer.