Say What?!

This weekend I got to see my awesome brother-in-law graduate from UVU with a BA in Graphic Design. Seriously, he and my sister are pretty legit. I mean, they have the cutest little girls ever and he got them to walk with him in their own little caps and gowns! (Props to the madre) I'm so proud of their little family. They are some of the best parents in the world, they work themselves to death and they're two of my best friends. Abby and Bella are two lucky girls! Mandy, like I've said in so many posts, is one of my greatest role models I've ever had. I hope to grow to have even a little bit of the courage, kindness, love, faith, and dedication that she possesses.

I guess the combination of the graduation, a wedding, and a farewell of some close friends got me thinking about my life. I've been pondering about my hopes and dreams. I know what I want out of life and I don't think I could have said that a few years ago. And guess what? I've finally figured out that what I want is actually exactly what Heavenly Father wants for me! How cool is that? With all of that mind, I've been getting excited for school to start  up again, excited to continue the path to one of my biggest dreams. I was looking at a syllabus for one of my new classes and I had a completely different thought pop into my head. Have you ever had that happen to you?  Do you stop and wonder if that thought was just a random happenstance or if it was something you were meant to hear? What if God wants me to do something I had given up on a long time ago, something that excites me and scares me more than anything I've ever known? What if God may want me to be doing something crazy for the next little while? What if that same thing mean I might miss out on something I've wanted for a LONG time? Well, I better go start praying!!
(Sorry for the vague post. I just had a lot of thoughts to get out and this is my form of a journal.)

Driving Around in Circles

I just found out that my life is taking a turn I didn't expect. These lyrics explain my thoughts on this little wind in the road...

They say that home is where the heart is
I guess I haven't found my home
And we keep driving round in circles
Afraid to call this place our own

And are we there yet?

They say there's linings made of silver
Folded inside each raining cloud
Well, we need someone to deliver
Our silver lining now

And are we there yet?
And are we there yet?
And are we there yet?
Home, home, home
Home, home, home

They say you're really not somebody
Until somebody else loves you
Well, I am waiting to make somebody
Somebody soon

And are we there yet?
And are we there yet?
And are we there yet?
Home, home, home
Home, home, home

Where you will lie on the rug
While I play with the dog
And it won't be too much
'Cause this is too much
'Cause this is too much for me to hold
This is too much for me to hold

Home, home, home
And are we there yet?
And are we there yet?
And are we there yet?

Home, home, home
Home, home, home, home

And are we there yet?
And are we there yet?
And are we there yet?
And are we there?

A Way Back To Then

One of my favorite musical theater songs has this lyric...
I aimed for the sky
A nine-year-old can see so far
I'll conquer the world and be a star
I'll do it all by the time I'm ten
I would know that confidence
If I knew a way back to then

Lately I've been missing my younger years, I know that's ridiculous to say since I'm barely twenty, but somehow this age is just completely different than the 'simple' years.

I was recently going through all the little notes/cards I've received over the years and I came across a little note of encouragement after what seemed like at the time, the biggest failure yet. It was from Haley Johnson. She wrote about how when she was young she was going to find out what happened to Amelia Earheart and the only reason we didn't know yet was because she hadn't tried to figure it out. She said that a little boy can be told he's not superman over and over but he still believes he can fly. It reminded me of how I used to be, I was fearless. I knew nothing of doubt but only of hope and possibilities. So I chose the 2 things I miss the most that I've allowed the world to change and decided what I'm going to do to incorporate them back into my life. I think when I do this I'll feel more like the me I miss and wish I still was, the me who believed I could do anything because I didn't listen to the world's perceptions of myself.

So here we go...


1. I miss dance. I've tried deny this for SO long because lets face it, I don't have the "right" physique. I quit for a lot of reasons but one of them was I couldn't ever have the body the other girls did. Still, every time I watch a contemporary dance I can't help but long to just get up and start dancing. I don't remember a lot of technique but I remember how I felt when I was floating on stage. It's one of the best ways I've found to express all those things that are too personal- too painful, too deep, or just too sacred to say out loud. That's why I've decided to take an intro to modern dance class this fall. I'll have to work hard to keep up but I'm so excited to feel the rush of emotions that come in the middle of routine again.




2. I miss loving what I'm learning. I used to have such enthusiasm for my favorite topics in school. I haven't been able to figure out why I detest most of my classes for my major when the same subject was one of my favorite in high school. I've decided I love certain time periods in history but others I just find flat out boring. I want to have a passion for something like I used to. But I haven't dared to change my major because of what people would think- she's just giving up, what would she do with that major. But I'm rejecting those ideas, I'm changing my major. This is one of those big changes I was referring to. I'm going to get my degree in Family Life and work with troubled families, youth, abused women and hopefully much more. I want to bring joy back into people's lives and this is how I plan on doing it.

Until Next Time Dear Reader.

Complete

I feel that I must preface this post by saying that yes, I know I am a nerd. But guess what? I'm doing this thing as of late called loving myself. I'm trying to accept things about myself and learn to embrace my loves. As nerdy as they may be they bring me joy and make me the person I am. As most of you know I love History. I've had this love for quite a while. However, some of you may not know that I'm also very interested in Sociology and am now studying it as my minor. I love the way these two subjects overlap and the way I can connect the past to the present through studying sociology. This semester has already brought so much excitement into my life through the wide variety of sociology and history courses I'm taking.
Anyway, enough of this little introduction. Last night as I was doing my reading for Social Inequality (yes I do thoroughly enjoy this class, thank you for asking) on a functionalist view of the division of labor in society I came across this little gem...
"As richly endowed as we may be, we always lack something, and the best of us realize our own insufficiency. That is why we seek in our friends the qualities we lack, since joining with them, we participate in some measure in their nature and thus feel less incomplete." -Emile Durkheim
Yes, I do realize that this quote is really referring to how we as a society build off one anothers talents to form a society of competition that is necessary to our well being. But somehow this quote was just the thing I needed to hear yesterday. It hit me so hard that while I may not be have every quality I admire that my roommates, friends, or members of my family possess, I still have vital qualities which other people learn and benefit from. As we recognize the chance we have to grow into a more perfect child of God, we must embrace it with humility, realizing that we were sent to this earth in a family for a reason. The Lord doesn't expect us to do it all alone. We have the resources among us that are necessary to help us feel more complete. We reach our full potential by seeing those qualities among others and incorporating them into our lives. Along with this, we must accept the unique talents that we ourselves have that can help others feel more complete.
I'm so grateful for the opportunity I have to gain an education and for the tender mercies the Lord shows me in the most unexpected places. I challenge each of you to include the Lord and our Heavenly Father more fully in your lives; whether that means letting them help you with school, work, or just life's hard times in general. He will help you. I've seen it already in the short amount of time school has been in session. I'm so grateful for the passions the Lord has given me. Life is wonderful!

My School is Cooler Than Yours

Silent Dance Partys n' stuffs from Madison Waters on Vimeo.

So... I've been missing Logan a lot these past few days. Don't get me wrong I've loved being home. But I miss my roommates SO much! I found this video on a friend's blog (credit goes to Madi) and it made me so homesick! Every semester on the Wednesday of finals week everyone in the library howls, this year there was a silent dance party with everyone wearing headphones. IN THE LIBRARY. This shows the amazingness that is my school. I miss it dearly. A real post will be coming later this week.

There is a Future After All...

So... I got accepted to Utah State Today with an academic scholarship! Go Aggies! I am pretty set on going there at the moment but it will probably change in about 5 minutes... yeah i'm pretty indecisive about like the biggest decision I've had to make yet. I love BYU-Idaho as well and I got my ecclesiastical endorsement today so I just have to write my essays and then I'll be done with that mother of a process! I want to graduate today! Only 192 days, total till I graduate! Yay!