One of my favorite musical theater songs has this lyric...
I aimed for the sky
A nine-year-old can see so far
I'll conquer the world and be a star
I'll do it all by the time I'm ten
I would know that confidence
If I knew a way back to then
Lately I've been missing my younger years, I know that's ridiculous to say since I'm barely twenty, but somehow this age is just completely different than the 'simple' years.
I was recently going through all the little notes/cards I've received over the years and I came across a little note of encouragement after what seemed like at the time, the biggest failure yet. It was from Haley Johnson. She wrote about how when she was young she was going to find out what happened to Amelia Earheart and the only reason we didn't know yet was because she hadn't tried to figure it out. She said that a little boy can be told he's not superman over and over but he still believes he can fly. It reminded me of how I used to be, I was fearless. I knew nothing of doubt but only of hope and possibilities. So I chose the 2 things I miss the most that I've allowed the world to change and decided what I'm going to do to incorporate them back into my life. I think when I do this I'll feel more like the me I miss and wish I still was, the me who believed I could do anything because I didn't listen to the world's perceptions of myself.
So here we go...
1. I miss dance. I've tried deny this for SO long because lets face it, I don't have the "right" physique. I quit for a lot of reasons but one of them was I couldn't ever have the body the other girls did. Still, every time I watch a contemporary dance I can't help but long to just get up and start dancing. I don't remember a lot of technique but I remember how I felt when I was floating on stage. It's one of the best ways I've found to express all those things that are too personal- too painful, too deep, or just too sacred to say out loud. That's why I've decided to take an intro to modern dance class this fall. I'll have to work hard to keep up but I'm so excited to feel the rush of emotions that come in the middle of routine again.
2. I miss loving what I'm learning. I used to have such enthusiasm for my favorite topics in school. I haven't been able to figure out why I detest most of my classes for my major when the same subject was one of my favorite in high school. I've decided I love certain time periods in history but others I just find flat out boring. I want to have a passion for something like I used to. But I haven't dared to change my major because of what people would think- she's just giving up, what would she do with that major. But I'm rejecting those ideas, I'm changing my major. This is one of those big changes I was referring to. I'm going to get my degree in Family Life and work with troubled families, youth, abused women and hopefully much more. I want to bring joy back into people's lives and this is how I plan on doing it.
Until Next Time Dear Reader.
I aimed for the sky
A nine-year-old can see so far
I'll conquer the world and be a star
I'll do it all by the time I'm ten
I would know that confidence
If I knew a way back to then
Lately I've been missing my younger years, I know that's ridiculous to say since I'm barely twenty, but somehow this age is just completely different than the 'simple' years.
I was recently going through all the little notes/cards I've received over the years and I came across a little note of encouragement after what seemed like at the time, the biggest failure yet. It was from Haley Johnson. She wrote about how when she was young she was going to find out what happened to Amelia Earheart and the only reason we didn't know yet was because she hadn't tried to figure it out. She said that a little boy can be told he's not superman over and over but he still believes he can fly. It reminded me of how I used to be, I was fearless. I knew nothing of doubt but only of hope and possibilities. So I chose the 2 things I miss the most that I've allowed the world to change and decided what I'm going to do to incorporate them back into my life. I think when I do this I'll feel more like the me I miss and wish I still was, the me who believed I could do anything because I didn't listen to the world's perceptions of myself.
So here we go...
1. I miss dance. I've tried deny this for SO long because lets face it, I don't have the "right" physique. I quit for a lot of reasons but one of them was I couldn't ever have the body the other girls did. Still, every time I watch a contemporary dance I can't help but long to just get up and start dancing. I don't remember a lot of technique but I remember how I felt when I was floating on stage. It's one of the best ways I've found to express all those things that are too personal- too painful, too deep, or just too sacred to say out loud. That's why I've decided to take an intro to modern dance class this fall. I'll have to work hard to keep up but I'm so excited to feel the rush of emotions that come in the middle of routine again.
2. I miss loving what I'm learning. I used to have such enthusiasm for my favorite topics in school. I haven't been able to figure out why I detest most of my classes for my major when the same subject was one of my favorite in high school. I've decided I love certain time periods in history but others I just find flat out boring. I want to have a passion for something like I used to. But I haven't dared to change my major because of what people would think- she's just giving up, what would she do with that major. But I'm rejecting those ideas, I'm changing my major. This is one of those big changes I was referring to. I'm going to get my degree in Family Life and work with troubled families, youth, abused women and hopefully much more. I want to bring joy back into people's lives and this is how I plan on doing it.
Until Next Time Dear Reader.
3 comments:
Love your post! I know exactly what you mean, I would like to go back to when I use to play soccer! haha Love you
Love that song and moreover this is the Shaunzi I know and love. The one that expresses herself through all of these outlets like dancing and deep conversation. Awesome!
Shaunzi....sometimes it takes a lot of courage to follow your heart. Your courage inspires me! I love you!!!
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